Presumably Monopoly would have been too ridiculous. Really? But aside from that evil witch, you haven't hurt any-ĭid I forget to mention? My old Simon game is possessed by the demon that lives inside me. We have to kill ourselves before we kill someone else. She marked us both down for demonic possession.Ĭure? There is no cure. Despite this, I still seem to be in control of my faculties and I'm willingly sharing useful information.
I have been completely possessed by a ferocious demon.
You know, if you give away your presence half a minute before jumping out, do you still count as a jump scare? I suppose "Slowly Walk Up In Front Of You And Shout Boo Scare" doesn't have the same ring to it. There was a big build-up to me pulling back this shower curtain, but nobody was there. The BOYS do another search of the APARTMENT. It's been really quiet for the last thirty seconds. The BOYS take the GIRLS back to GLORIA'S APARTMENT. Want to break into her still blood-splattered apartment and have sex?īoy do I! A forensic investigation is the best place to spill your bodily fluids! My downstairs neighbor was brutally murdered. If we're not going to investigate this any further, do want to go pick up some chicks?ĪNDREW and JORGE gatecrash a HOUSE PARTY. Do you seriously expect me to believe that you break physics and still not think something is wrong?ĭid you say something Jorge? I was too busy using my x-ray vision to peer into the girls' locker room. Holy crap! You just displayed super strength! Andrew, are you sure you're not really possessed?ĭon't be silly Jorge. That would be more impressive if chihuahuas weren't scared of leaf blowers.ĪNDREW and JORGE are accosted by two THUGS at a VENDING MACHINE.ĭon't cooperate with any of their demands Andrew! I'll calm them down by continuing to film them! Maybe it's a sign I'm possessed! My chihuahua is now scared of me! No, it's because it's too depressing to admit we're up to "Paranormal Activity 5".
#Paranormal activity the marked ones movie#
The next day, ANDREW wakes to find BITE MARKS on his arm.Īha! This must be why this movie is called "The Marked Ones". Hey, these are the only acting gigs I can get, okay? Ugh, five movies in and we're still dicking around with open doorways. Maybe if I put the camera right up to this bead curtain. Andrew? Andrew where did you go? Andrew? Andrew? I ask because no teenager calling out for their friend in a dark and abandoned area ever gets ambushed in a horror movie. Maybe we could get some answers to one of the franchise's many unsolved questions.īoth BOYS collapse into PEALS OF LAUGHTER. Hey, I found a box of tapes from "Paranormal Activity 3". They poke through GLORIA'S CREEPY POSSESSIONS. Relax, I've heard the police in California are exceptionally friendly towards minorities. What, break into a crime scene and start tampering with the evidence? Isn't that going to look just a little bit suspicious? We have definitely got to go investigate Gloria's apartment. Yeah, he must have passed the murderer while he was taking a leak. Holy shit we have video evidence that our friend committed murder? We have to turn this over to the police!Ĭalm down man! I'm sure there's an innocent explanation for all this. Hey, remember how Gloria was found murdered the same night we saw Carlos sneaking out of her apartment? Well now the police think he might have killed her! Pretty trippy huh? ANDREW'S APARTMENT COMPLEX - A FEW DAYS LATER Let me just put my face two inches above it and-ĪNDREW'S classmate CARLOS PRATTS bursts out of the APARTMENT and flees, distracting ANDREW from his JACKASSERY. The firework doesn't seem to be starting. I'm filming this too? Ah, the characters and setting may differ, but some things never change. WHAT'S THAT ANDREW? I CAN'T HEAR YOU!! I'M TOO BUSY ORGASMING OVER THE SIGHT OF A NAKED LADY!!ĪND NOW I'M TOO BUSY FILMING YOU FILMING GLORIA!! WHY AM I DOING THAT?ĪNDREW and JORGE decide to lure GLORIA out of her apartment with a FIREWORK. But remember, if we can easily hear her, that means she can easily hear. Hey! Let's lower the video camera down the ventilation so we can find out what those noises are! Hey, are you assholes filming us? Put that thing down!Īaaaah! I don't understand! This is Paranormal Activity! Everyone's supposed to be okay with being filmed all the time! What the hell is going on?ĪNDREW and JORGE hear strange noises from the GLORIA SANDOVAL'S APARTMENT. Man, who cares about that? Check out my new video camera. You mean this Paranormal Activity movie isn't going to follow an upper-middle class white family in the suburbs? Has the world gone mad? Teenagers ANDREW JACOBS and JORGE DIAZ dick around with a camera.
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